Self Restraint
and Self Motivation
Self restraint doesn't have to mean self torture - this is how to change the rules and keep you moving forward.You're feeling committed to your new cause and you've given yourself a great start with
Self Discipline
and set the stage well. It's time to add a few more tools to your resources to really make the difference.
YOUR PERSPECTIVE When we choose to give something up, it's all too easy to keep reminding ourselves that something's missing, that we're not doing something that we used to. This is because the brain can't 'not' think about something: If I said "don't think about cake", the first thing that comes to mind is... cake! Then maybe guilt for actually thinking about something you've been told not to think about, in order to not think about it. Phew! It's the same when you give something up and try to exercise self restraint by constantly reminding yourself that you're not doing something. Instead, remember why you're giving up doing whatever it is. Maybe to feel healthier, slimmer, better about yourself. Maybe because of the positive effects it will have on your life and the lives of others you care about. That is the reason you're doing this, so keep it in mind and keep moving towards it.
YOUR ATTITUDE Changing any behaviour takes time, forward momentum and belief in the outcome. Even with these in place, you may find times that test your resolve. The biggest one can be an occasional craving for what you used to do. This may be physical or mental, and your mind can invent all sorts of reasonable and/or sneaky ways to wrestle with your self restraint and go back to the old ways. This is because we are creatures of habit - the mind likes what it already knows, but it can only learn new ways from what it doesn't know. Your mind will only let go of old habits when it believes that the new ways are better for you. So, with your firm belief that your new behaviour is right for you, you can choose to actually welcome any cravings or feelings of withdrawal as signs that something is definitely changing - they wouldn't be there otherwise! It's a sign of transition, that the old you is transforming into the new, improved you.
YOUR NEW HABITS Feeling unstoppable? Great! Let's finish this section with a great exercise for conditioning your mind for a successful outcome. This works best with speed and repetition, so read through the steps to make sure you understand how to do it before you do it: - Close your eyes and think of something you know is inevitable. For instance, the sun will rise tomorrow.
Notice how you know this - maybe an image in your mind, a sound or a feeling. Maybe even a combination.Where is it located? Could be in front, to one side, high or low - whichever is right to you.Open your eyes and clear your mind.Close your eyes again and think about doing your new behaviour.Again, how is it represented to you, and where is it located?Now you have it, move it over to the place where your 'inevitable' representation appeared last time.Lock it in place with a 'click' (like the lid of a tupperware box).Notice the difference and the changes in the experience that you become aware of.Open your eyes and clear your mind.
Now, once you've got the hang of how to do this, run through it quickly, ten times in a row... that's right, as quick as you can. You may decide to do this at least once a day for a week, or until it becomes automatic.
With repetition and better habits comes a new outlook and any need for self restraint fades away. Your new behaviour becomes inevitable because you have all the pieces in the right places. Great work!
Next article - Stop Bad Habits and Engage Will Power
Return from Self Restraint to New Years Resolutions
Return from Self Restraint to Free Self Help Articles home page
Top of Page
|
