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The Self Help Approach
- The Stages Of A Problem
Your unique Self Help approach is your empowered journey through life - a delicious habit of continuous self-renewal. But what brought you to the point of discovery?This is about how it all starts. The majority of us only seek answers when we are obliged to - when we can no longer enjoy quality of life, or when someone close to us indicates something we have become oblivious of. How did it get so bad? Certain issues such as phobias and PTSD are "one trial learning issues", where the sheer intensity of a situation overwhelms the present coping mechanism. That is for a future discussion, but right now this is about a self help approach to issues that have developed more gradually. Let's follow the problem trail backwards to get some insights, starting with the solution: - That moment of clarity, self-acceptance and renewed optimism, coupled with a new strength and determination that things will never get out of hand again.
Ahh, that's right, wonderfully right.
- Before that comes the decision to act on the problem. The tipping point, the final straw - the "I'm not gonna take this any more" moment. A moment of self-empowered strength and the firm realisation that enough is enough.
- Previous to that comes the acknowledgement that there is indeed an issue. This is harder than it looks for many people. If a person doesn't realise or accept that there is something that needs addressing, it will continue and most likely become more exaggerated.
- Before that... the problem state, or manifestation. This is often a seemingly complex marvel of behaviours, issues and/or maladies. A self-perpetuating knot of trouble, usually with no noticeably obvious solution; an apparent dead-end to possibility. Why? Because all existing options have been exhausted.
- What is this unruly beast built on? Symptoms, presented in all their uncomfortable glory and consequently ignored or suppressed. The body has plenty of early warning mechanisms, but our first instinct is often to escape the discomfort rather than pay attention to where that discomfort is pointing. This creates... more symptoms, in the vain hope of getting attention.
- There's no smoke without fire, and there are no symptoms without a cause - and so we find ourselves at the root of the problem. As mentioned earlier, most problems develop over time. This can be days or weeks for issues such as
stress
but more usually they are years in the making. We are hugely resilient and resourceful, but regular exposure to damaging conditions can take its toll on our mental and physical health.
So what can we draw from this in conclusion? Most problems take a fair amount of time to become troublesome. We may not consciously notice that we are being affected, but our bodies will be aware and they will start to draw attention to areas in your life that need to be adjusted or remedied. Pay attention to your body and notice what it tells you. Pain is a beacon lighting the way to a problem; similarly, uncomfortable thoughts and emotions are indicators of something that needs to be resolved or released. Address issues before they go to the next stage, rather than suppressing or masking the warning signs. Above all, be kind to yourself - after all, you're all you've got.
You may also be interested in
this article on how to Stop Bad Habits
Next Article - Self Esteem Questionnaire
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