Hilarious QuotesFunny with a healthy dose of silly, the hilarious quotes on this page will remind you not to take life too seriously!I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' - she said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. George Carlin The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with. What's another word for thesaurus? Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others. Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.' I don't believe in the after-life, although I am bringing a change of underwear. I'm a philosophy major. That means I can think deep thoughts about being unemployed. Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches. Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so. Next page - Family Quotes Return from Hilarious Quotes to Quotes By Famous People © Copyright 2011. All rights reserved.
Content is intended for educational purposes only.  |
|